


Fucking Oreos

by Itsquiettime



Category: Septiplier - Fandom, jacksepticeye, markiplier - Fandom, youtube - Fandom
Genre: I'm Sorry, M/M, Oreos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-29
Updated: 2016-04-29
Packaged: 2018-06-05 07:00:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6694168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Itsquiettime/pseuds/Itsquiettime
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Okay, this is based on something that I have actually done.  I have literally done this exact thing. </p>
<p>This is thanks to @assbutt-of-the-readers.  SO THANK YOU!</p>
<p>Also hi!! I’m back!! Have you missed me?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fucking Oreos

Jack just wanted some fucking Oreos.  

It was one of those nights when he just simply couldn’t sleep.  He had tried.  He cuddled with Mark until he heard his boyfriend fall into dreamland.  

He tried counting the heartbeat that pumped under his cheek like other people count sheep, but gave up when he got to 200.

Pushing up, he rolled out of bed and made his way into the TV room.  He could watch something until he grew tired enough to crawl into Mark’s arms again. 

Two episodes in, he felt a tiny bit hungry and decided that it was just the right time to dig out some Oreos and milk. 

Hopping up and heading into the kitchen, he fiddled around in cabinets until he found the Oreos. Mark had a habit of trying to hide them from him because he _“needed to eat healthier”._

Fuck that.  Cookies were the shit.

Placing them on the island in the middle of the room, he ripped them open and shoved one in his mouth before snatching up a glass to pour milk into. 

He opened up the fridge to get the milk, and things began to go downhill from there. 

Feeling lazy, he popped open the top of the milk instead of actually pulling the jug out of the fridge. 

So far so good. 

He placed the cap down and picked the jug up. 

So far so good. 

He poured half a glass without incident. 

So far so good.  Doing great, Jack. 

He spun to place the milk in the fridge, but the entire jug slipped from his fingers and crashed to the floor. 

Shit. 

Milk went absolutely everywhere and he cursed creatively. 

Stepping forward, he tried to put his glass on the counter only to slip on the milk on the floor and fall into the fridge. 

The glass flew from his hand as he fell and shattered against the cabinet, flinging glass shards everywhere.  In a flailing attempt to save himself, he threw his other arm out to catch the top shelf of the fridge.  

Only for that shelf to break.

And the shelf under _it_ to break. 

And the shelf under _**it**_ to break. 

Jack found himself smacking his face against the back on an empty refrigerator and landing on a broken mess of leftovers, food, and condiments.  

Good googly moogly it all went to shit. 

The whole mess caused quite a commotion and before he could pull himself from his cold mess, he heard footsteps racing from the bedroom and thundering toward him. 

Mark found Jack with his ass and legs sticking out of the fridge and the floor covered in milk, glass, and several other questionable substances.  

“Oh, God.  Jack what happened!?  Are you alright!?” 

Jack tried to get up but slipped and slid, nearly falling to his death once again.  Admitting defeat, he stuck an arm through the fridge door and waved. “Baby? Help!” 

Jack heard Mark pick his way across the floor carefully until he was standing next to him. “I’ve got you.  Here, just hold on.” 

With a strength he didn’t know he possessed, Mark hauled him out of the mess and placed him gently on a nearby countertop. 

Jack was covered in food and Mark couldn’t tell what was a bruise or a food stain and what was ketchup or blood.  

“Why don’t you go and get a shower huh? I’ll clean this up while you’re gone.  I’ll take a look at you when you get out, alright?” 

By the time Jack had scrubbed himself clean and pulled on a pair of boxers, Mark had cleaned the entire mess and was waiting by the island in the kitchen for him.  Bless him the rest of the Oreos were in his hand. 

As Jack drew near, Mark placed a hand on his face and made him stand still.  Freezing in place, Jack let him inspect him thoroughly.  

He had a cut along his arm that would probably scar, a nasty bruise on his nose, and a split bottom lip –not to mention a severely wounded pride- but otherwise he was fine. 

He grabbed a cookie and munched on it while Mark stared at him. 

“Jack?  Did someone break in? Did you pass out?  What happened?” 

Oh.  Mark thought…  Oh.  Oh _God_. He was going to have to _explain_ what happened. 

Turning a brilliant shade of pink, Jack tried to hide behind his cookie while telling Mark the entire tale. 

The silence that came when he finished was scalding.  Was Mark mad at him for ruining so much food? 

The laughter that consumed his boyfriend was release and a breath of fresh air. 

Mark doubled over in laughter, holding the counter for support and Jack let him laugh.  He would never live it down.  Never.  He was never going to be able to walk into the kitchen in peace ever again.  

In between bursts of laughter, Mark asked, “You took down the entire fridge man.  The entire fridge.  We have to go shopping tomorrow.  Oh God.” He burst into another fit of giggles and Jack sighed.

After Mark had finally calmed himself enough to speak again, he put his hands on Jack’s shoulders.  “You’re dangerous, man.  Come on, we’re going to bed.” 

Though Mark was comfortable and Jack was happy to be in his arms after such a traumatic event, he still couldn’t sleep.  


End file.
